Cinematherapy: Acceptance and Surrender in Recovery

Trigger Alert: there is a lot of big 80s hair in this film, casual references to drug use, and a cultural acceptance of fistfighting that we do not currently praise. If you are troubled by these elements, take time and space.

1980s trailers give the plots away, so be warned: spoilers.

Acceptance and Surrender in Recovery: Synopsis

In this modern take on Edmond Rostand’s classic play “Cyrano de Bergerac,” C. D. Bales (Steve Martin) is the witty, intelligent, and brave fire chief of a small Pacific Northwest town who, due to the size of his enormous nose, declines to pursue the girl of his dreams, lovely Roxanne Kowalski (Daryl Hannah). Instead, when his shy underling Chris McConnell (Rick Rossovich) becomes smitten with Roxanne, Bales feeds the handsome young man the words of love to win her heart. While the film is enjoyable all on its own, it stands out as a lesson in acceptance and surrender that can help us sustain our recovery.

Main characters:

Steve Martin as CD Bales
Daryll Hannah as Roxanne
Rick Rossovich as Chris
Shelly Duvall as Dixie

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093886/

Plot:

C.D. “Charlie” Bales, the fire chief of the small ski town of Nelson, Washington, is an intelligent, humorous, charismatic, athletic, and skilled man. Regardless, he is rather sensitive about his abnormally large nose, which many in town have learned not to talk about; he cannot have it surgically altered due to a dangerous allergy to anesthetics. Still, he is close to many residents, especially his god-sister, Dixie, who owns the town diner and several rental homes. When the beautiful Roxanne Kowalski, a graduate student in astronomy, arrives to search for a new comet during the summer, he, like many others in town, becomes immediately attracted to her. She adores C.D. but only as a friend, preferring Chris, a handsome but dim-witted fireman, newly arrived in town to train the local firefighters, who are quite incompetent.

Roxanne goes to C.D. for help when Chris fails to advance their relationship further than curious glances. After seeing him pick up a book by Sartre for a friend, she wrongly believes Chris is deeply intelligent. When C.D. informs Chris of Roxanne’s interest, Chris feels sick as he is intimidated by intelligent women. Chris starts to write her a letter, but it takes all day with little result. He convinces C.D. to write the letter, with prose that soon woos Roxanne. When informed that Roxanne wants to meet him, Chris again feels sick and refuses to meet until C.D. comes up with a plan to allow him to be as brilliant as his letter makes him appear.

Chris arrives at Roxanne’s house with a hunter’s cap on, hiding the earphones that relay C.D.’s words. Chris bungles the meeting when the equipment fails by speaking his crass thoughts. After Roxanne storms back into the house furious, Chris begs C.D. to fix his mess again. At first, he attempts to repeat what he’s being prompted from under a tree beneath Roxanne’s window, but he soon also ruins that. Then they switch jackets and hats so C.D. can speak as Chris. They achieve their goal, and she invites Chris in to make love.

Hunter’s Hat on First Date. Totally Normal.

And Things Get Complicated.

Roxanne gets word about the comet and has to go out of town for a week. She tells C.D. first since she had shared the possibility with him. She asks if Chris is around, but since he isn’t, she gives the address of her hotel and asks him to tell Chris to write her. Instead of informing Chris, C D. writes her several times daily, each letter more incredible than the last. As C.D. writes a new letter to her in Dixie’s diner, he is told Chris is on his way to see Roxanne since she returned early. After a game of ding dong dash, he arrives at her home and warns Chris that Roxanne will be mentioning some letters he supposedly wrote. She tries to get Chris to be the man in the letters, revealing that his looks are only secondary to her.

Feeling ill due to knowing that his looks are all he has, Chris runs out, leaving her confused. Dixie puts the last letter under Roxanne’s door, and after reading it, Roxanne calls C.D. over.

Chris prepares to leave town with bartender Sandy, whom he met while Roxanne was away. When she asks if he has told Roxanne (the women are acquaintances), he replies that he will write her a letter since he has a history of it.

Follow Your Nose

C.D. arrives, unaware that Roxanne knows the truth. She asks him to read one of the letters and then to look at the back, which shows that Dixie revealed its true author. She explodes in anger that he lied to her. He retorts that he wants to tell her how he feels about her, but she is only interested in Chris’s attractiveness. When he reminds her that Chris only took a few nice words to get her into bed, she punches him in the face and throws him out. As he prepares to say more, he stops and sniffs the air. He slowly walks back to the firehouse and alerts his team, who then “follow his nose” until they find and extinguish a fire in a barn that, if not contained, could burn down the entire town.

During their celebration afterward, someone mentions his nose, and although everyone thinks CD will get upset, he doesn’t.

Back home, sitting on his roof, Bales hears someone speaking his words to him. It’s Roxanne declaring that she realized it was C.D.’s personality that she loved, not Chris’s looks. After she declares her love, C.D. stylishly descends from the roof, and they reconcile. During the credits, she reveals that she named the comet “Charlie” (C.D.’s first name), but after her father.

Questions for consideration:

What does Charlie mean when he says “I’ve been a lot braver since then” to Roxanne?

Charlie and Chris are fearless in some aspects of their personalities but deeply afraid in others. How does that contribute to their friendship?

Why doesn’t Charlie beat the crap out of Chris when he first sees his nose?

Why doesn’t Chris have nervous fits when flirting with the bartender?

To what degree does Charlie carry resentments? How does he release them?

Charlie cites his ethics as a reason not to write the letter for Chris. What changes his mind?

Charlie uses his wit and charm to compensate for his nose. Why isn’t that enough? What does he have to learn to overcome that?

Charlie punishes almost everyone who calls attention to his nose – do you ever punish people for discovering or mentioning your recovery? Your past actions while in active addiction?

What lessons can you take from this film for your own acceptance and surrender in recovery?

Final Questions: How Do We Appear to the Normies?

People in early recovery often report they feel looked down upon by the non-addicts and non-alcoholics in their lives. It can feel as though it’s obvious to everyone that we’re the freaks in the room. We “look” like addicts, even when we’re dressed nicely and on our best behavior. It doesn’t help that other addicts seem to be able to find us instantly, and we can see our own kind everywhere.

But is that an accurate view of how we come off? Are we the giant-nosed rejects in the room, insisting that nobody say a word about our deformities?

And even if that is how things are, what can we do about it? What works? What doesn’t?

Roxanne is enjoyable on its own merits, and Steve Martin is a national treasure. And if you allow yourself to see the process of acceptance and surrender in recovery in the film, it becomes even more meaningful. Enjoy!